The Backstory
Rahul didn't have a matching problem. As a software engineer at a well-known tech company, with decent photos and an interesting bio, he got 10-15 matches per week.
His problem was different: those matches went nowhere.
His typical conversation looked like this: - Rahul: "Hey" - Match: "Hi" - Rahul: "How's your day going?" - Match: "Good, you?" - Rahul: "Good. So what do you do?" - Match: [Answers] - Rahul: "Cool" - [Conversation dies]
He had 147 matches over 6 months. Know how many led to actual dates? Four. And three of those dates felt awkward because they'd run out of things to talk about within the first 15 minutes.
"I'm not naturally good at small talk," Rahul says. "At work, I talk about code and projects. With friends, we have shared experiences. But with strangers on dating apps? I had no idea what to say."
He tried: - Asking more questions (felt like an interview) - Being funny (his jokes fell flat in text) - Being flirty (came across as trying too hard) - Sending GIFs (got "lol" responses that went nowhere)
Nothing worked. He was starting to think he was just "not a dating app person."
The Specific Problems
❌ Generic Opening Messages
'Hey' and 'How are you' are what 80% of people send. When you send the same message as everyone else, you get ignored like everyone else.
Impact: Only 20% of his matches ever responded to his first message.
❌ Interview-Style Questions
He'd ask questions like 'What do you do?' 'Where are you from?' 'What are your hobbies?' This felt like a job interview, not a fun conversation.
Impact: Matches would answer politely but never felt excited to talk to him.
❌ No Conversation Flow
Each message was disconnected from the previous one. No callbacks, no inside jokes, no building of rapport. Just question-answer-question-answer.
Impact: Conversations felt forced and died naturally within 10-15 messages.
❌ Didn't Know When to Transition
He'd chat for days, sometimes weeks, never knowing when to ask for a date or phone number. By then, momentum was dead.
Impact: Matches lost interest or matched with someone more decisive.
Discovering DatingIdeasDB
A colleague at work mentioned DatingIdeasDB. "Just read the Conversation Openers section. Trust me."
Rahul spent his lunch break browsing it and immediately felt called out:
"The problem isn't what you're saying. The problem is you're not saying anything."
The database explained: - Why generic openers kill interest - The 5 types of openers that get 70%+ response rates - How to build conversational momentum - When to transition from chat to phone to meeting - The exact templates for every stage of conversation
"It was like getting a conversation playbook. I didn't have to be naturally smooth or funny. I just had to follow a system that worked."
The Solution
Applied Conversation Frameworks from DatingIdeasDB
Time Invested
2 hours reading, immediate implementation
Cost
$19 one-time membership
Switched to Contextual Openers
Instead of 'Hey', he'd reference something specific from their profile. Example: If someone mentioned they love hiking, he'd say: 'Skandagiri or Nandi Hills? This is the real test of your hiking credibility 😄'
✅ Result: Response rate jumped from 20% to 75%
Used the Statement + Question Formula
Instead of just asking questions, he'd make a statement about himself, then ask a related question. Example: 'I'm terrible at choosing restaurants. Always end up at the same 3 places. What's your secret to finding good food spots?'
✅ Result: Conversations became two-way exchanges instead of interviews
Applied the 7-Message Rule
After 7 quality messages back and forth, he'd suggest moving to WhatsApp or a phone call. No more endless chatting.
✅ Result: 8 out of his next 10 conversations turned into phone numbers
Created Conversation Threads
Learned to create callback references and inside jokes during conversations, making each new message feel connected to previous ones.
✅ Result: Matches started looking forward to his messages instead of forgetting about him
The Results: A Timeline
Week 1: Immediate Improvement
- ▸Sent 20 new opening messages
- ▸Got 15 responses (75% response rate vs. 20% before)
- ▸4 conversations moved to WhatsApp
- ▸2 dates scheduled
💡 One match said: 'Finally, someone who doesn't just ask boring questions. This is fun!'
Week 4: Consistent Success
- ▸Successfully turned 8 out of 10 ongoing conversations into dates
- ▸Went on 6 actual dates (vs. 4 total in the previous 6 months)
- ▸2 of those dates led to second dates
- ▸Built confidence in his conversation skills
💡 The problem was never his personality. It was not knowing how to convey his personality through text.
Month 3: Dating Multiple People
- ▸Had 15+ quality dates
- ▸Started seeing two people regularly
- ▸Eventually chose one
- ▸Dating her for 7 months now
❤️ His girlfriend told him she almost didn't respond to his first message (about coffee preferences) but it made her laugh, so she did. That one message changed everything.
The Key Lesson
What Rahul Learned
Good conversation is a skill, not a personality trait. You can learn it the same way you learn anything else - by following proven frameworks until they become natural.
"Stop trying to be naturally charming. Start using templates and frameworks. Eventually, you won't need them anymore because you'll understand the pattern."
"The conversation frameworks are gold. I used to send 'Hey' and wonder why girls never replied. Now I know exactly what to say to spark interest and keep conversations flowing naturally. It's literally changed my entire dating life."
Where Rahul Is Now
Rahul is now the go-to dating advice guy in his friend circle. Four of his coworkers have asked him for help with their dating profiles and conversations. He still uses DatingIdeasDB whenever he needs to navigate new dating situations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Did you memorize conversation scripts?
A: At first, yes. I had my phone open reading templates while chatting. After 2 weeks, it became natural and I didn't need templates anymore.
Q: What if someone doesn't have anything interesting in their profile?
A: The database has generic but engaging openers for that too. Or I'd just swipe left. Life's too short for blank profiles.
Q: How do you remember the 7-message rule?
A: I literally count. Message 1, 2, 3... after 7, I suggest moving off the app. Simple.
Q: What's your success rate now?
A: About 80% of my conversations lead to either a phone number or a date. The other 20% are people who aren't actually serious about meeting.
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